Married Now and analyzing

It is beautiful feeling to get married. The pomp and show, the hesitantcy at the thought of being committed to one man forever yet somehow sure that you dont want to change your mind, the seven steps taken, a private laugh over the mantras you dont really understand and suddenly the thought of court marraige seems like a good alternative (or maybe being a Christian), the 'maang' being adorned by the red sindoor and the mangalsutra that becomes your signature locket forever now and the knowing smile on your lips that you made it atlast. Now we dont have to bear the long distance calls ever again. No mooning over the silent mobile and waiting for late night calls, no tossing over in the lonely bed now and no discussion over the next meeting ever again.

The process was marraige was no easy though. I had my doubts about being open to one man all my life. Somehow it eased me that I would be loved and I know i'm loved. Then comes the part where you compromise, adjust and learn. Its scary at first but you know it will only make you stronger. I had to learn many things after i got married. And being married and being an army officers wife is very different. Sex is not the only thing that paves way to the beginning of your married life. Here comes the part when you learn to glow under the glow of love and the day you loose the feeling, you loose yourself. Perhaps I'm talking what happens in the long run or rather what happens when you let responsibilities overshadow your love for your husband.

As OSHO says "Marriage is an institution that should be removed from the society because then you cannot love freely. a woman makes love because its a duty she fulfills and the man makes love because its a duty he fulfills". To a certain extent i agree and then I would come to the point where i would disagree too. Marraige is a binding institution. The key word here being 'institution'. Its not a college or school where you finish it in certain number of years, give and farewell party, shed a few happy tears and then say goodbye. Its not at all that simple. Rather I would call marraige a mirage. a Mirage of hopes, dreams and happiness. And you can achieve all this only with an open heart and a closed mind. Thinking too much would only disillusion you further. Without marriage, a relationship scatters because you dont work towards making things happen and you dont understand the meaning of being together out of bed. To share more than love, to share fear and dislikes, to share anger and wonder at being together. Osho mostly made me laugh. I admire his candidness and he could influence me if he wanted to. But i had to think about it. I'm a thinker. I had to analyze his words or go insane.